The Hardest thing I ever had to do……..

I am sure everybody that ever saw the movie with Will Smith, The Persuit of Happiness, will remember all the heart-breaking scenes from the movie.

For Chris Gardner, the real life inspirational person Will Smith portrays, the scene where he and his son has nowhere to sleep except a bathroom was so hard, he couldn’t be on the movie set when the scene was shot.

Now I didn’t say this is going to be the hardest thing I ever wrote for nothing……  Remember that bathroom scene, now replace Will Smith just with me and my laptop – This is being written from within a McDonalds bathroom stall, where I can have Wifi access.

What I am going to reveal here will maybe shock some, give satisfaction to those who think I did them harm, will mostly be read with pity and then you move on with your life, but maybe. just maybe, there will be 1 person who reads this and extends his/her hand of help and assistance.

A few months ago I moved back to my mother’s in order to take care of her – She became addicted, and still is, to codeine and benzodiazipines (pain killers and axiety tablits).

I have a sister who is 10 years younger than me who I haven’t seen in more than a year – I don’t even know how or where to contact her, as she got a restraining order against my mother, after she and her boyfriend was both attacked by my mother in a drug induced pshycosis.

My brother, 3 years younger than me, is in the process of applying for a restraining order against my mother after the same happened to him and he was attacked (he has been forced into a life where he has no contact with anyone of us anymore).

We grew up tough. I would say tougher than most…. My father mentally, physically and emotionally abused my mother and emotionally and mentally us 3 children,

This happened as far as I can think back, so for at least from the age of 10 did I witness this abuse day in and out, the same with my brother and to a degree my sister (Thank God that they are divorced, but even he has a restraining order against my mother).

I hope this starts to paint for you the picture of where I came from……..

When I moved back home, it was to try and help my mother get off the drugs and get her back on her feet.

In this process I loaned her 50K for a new car.

This week things came to a point where I felt no longer safe to live with my mother anymore, when she attacked me with a knife (my cell phone broke in defending myself, but the scars are here for anyone to see).

I now literally have a few items of clothing and my laptop, moving from wifi hotspot to hotspot as I am trying to keep my dream alive.

I have slept next the train tracks, in storage facilities, in empty buildings, hospitals, toilets……..

BUT this is not a plea for pity, please dont get that wrong!

I am a Senior C# & SharePoint Developer with 10 years experience and a BSC degree I completed with distinction.

My mother is however refusing to pay back the money she owes me (although her old car is standing at her flat, it just needs to be sold – A red Fiat Panda)

She is also refusing me access to my cell phone and to my car – which makes it impossible for me to find a stable job.

Those of you wondering – Well, why not take what is yours? My mother had me locked up by the SAPS when I did it in the past and is threatening to do it again (She has the Sinoville police completely wrapped around her pinkie finger)

ALL I am asking of you is – Please go take a look at my web site : – I am even giving away a free SharePoint Corporate Calendar roll-up App for those who are just willing to take a look at my CV and skills available to see on my web site.

ALL I am asking is – Please give me a chance. Please offer me a job. I will work for shelter and food – Development has always been my passion, not money.

I am not even thus asking for a salary, though I can easily earn 40K a month – ALL I am asking for is to have empathy and compassion and to give me a chance to get back on my feet again……

Please see my twitter feed as well – This is not some fairy tale story, this is real-life and this is survival for me

It was indeed the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I have got literally nothing on my name but I still have my dream and passion, the ONLY thing I ask for is a chance please……

(I can be contacted through my web site or at

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this – Please head over to my web page and download a great App with all the source code and please take the time to see the talent and passion in me as you go through my code………

This is me at my most vulnerable, it isn’t easy for a man that prouds himself in everything he does to ask for help like this, but I have a dream and fire still inside, and a hope that there is that 1 person outside there


FREE Event Aggregated Corporate Calendar available for download –

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